Building Relational Bridges
Observations, questions with some reflective comments and prayer
Let me say at the beginning, this note is not political. It’s not meant to be for or against any political party’s ideology. I have respect for the two leaders that this grace note is highlighting. My purpose for highlighting these two leader’s recent comments is to help with building or maintain relational bridges. The first person‘s comments I will be highlighting is President Trump; who I have respect for and a heart-felt desire for him to succeed in governing the American people. And the second person is former First Lady Michelle Obama; who I’m eternally grateful to and thankful for taking up the mantle and becoming the first Black First Lady of this Nation. Before we start, repeat this with me out loud, ‘God has blessed me to live in a Nation where I can become what He has blessed me to be. Thankyou Jesus for being with me right now’. Thanks for doing that with me. My hope is that praying that will help serve as a reminder of God’s love for you. I’ll start by highlighting a recent comment by President Trump.
President Trump in his acceptance speech as the republican party nominee on August 27th referenced Andrew Jackson as one of the people he looks up to as a past president. His admiration for President Jackson has been known for some time since he had a portrait of him mounted on a wall in the White House. Yes, Jackson is regarded as one of the most influential U.S. Presidents in history. He was war hero and great stateman. Yet he was complicit with the forced migration of many Native Americans told in the horror of the Trail of Tears where thousands died. Also, his rise to becoming wealthy and an impactful landowner was at the expense of others with his purchase of the Hermitage Plantation. By the time of his death it’s recorded that President Jackson’s estate owned approximately 150 slaves.
President Trump’s admiration for President Jackson maybe a heart rallying point for some portions of the American electorate. However, for some Black people in America that reference as it was presented is problematic. Some might believe that highlighting this comment for discussion is unnecessary because here are more important topics to discuss. I don’t believe highlighting this comment is unnecessary. Why was his comment a problem? For some Black people the President’s comment is a problem because President Jackson leveraged slavery for his own personal benefit and for the monetary benefit of this Nation and nothing was said about that part of who he was in his comments. How could many people of color share the same feelings of admiration with President Trump knowing that their forefathers were being forcibly subjected to the horrors of how President Jackson and men like him became men of impact. At this point in the American story some Black people have reached the conclusion that President Trump and others who have voiced similar tropes (i.e. words of admiration for key leaders in our Nation who were complicit with the continuation of slavery) choose to exclude any reference to the hurtful impacts of those thought leaders related to slavery and its impact on our culture. Whether their conclusion is right or wrong or incomplete maybe a question, but for some people this repeated omission of the truth genders distrust and creates barriers between White and Black Americans. Barriers as it relates to some ever believing they can reach economic equity in the face of impacts from redlining, or barriers to equal protection under the law in the face of quota based policing that disproportionally impacts some communities of color, or barriers to equity sentencing for Blacks that have committed like crimes as other races, etc. I realize those points of inequities have other very real contributors that impact Black people’s lives. However, expounding on those would take a while to unpack, so I won’t go there now.
I believe it’s important to use empathy if you want to help facilitate the healing process. Make no mistake about it, many Black people feel like they have been injured by the repeated injustices of the past and present. I believe part of the President’s strategy was to rally the hearts of many Americans by his speech. However, that couldn’t happen for many people of color because there was no reference of where they were as a people group in that part of his narrative. I believe building and communicating narratives that include the missteps and mistakes of the past without disrespecting anyone has the best chance of reaching hearts. We all need forgiveness (even Paul in the New Testament came to that realization when he was Saul on the road to Damascus). Ignoring the horrors or painful mistakes of the past or present doesn’t make them go away. Neither does dwelling on the past heal hurts. In this case, I believe presenting more inclusive narratives by our leaders would help build or help sustain relational bridges between the races in our country. Nobody is looking for a detailed history of the mistakes President Jackson or anyone else has made. What some people are looking for in its Christian leaders is for them to try to bring all people collectively into the American narrative. Telling the truth and giving space for forgiveness are important necessary steps in the healing process and in sustaining healthy relationships between individuals as well as between people groups. By the way, I know there were thousands of free Blacks in multiple southern states who owned slaves in America. Just like I know there were many Blacks who helped source the slave trade in Africa and in the Americas. Those points are real contributors to the horrors of slavery in America. However, those contributors will be left for comment maybe in another grace note.
Back to our President’s comments. Some Black people are looking for ways to connect with (to understand and be motivated to rally along-side of) the Presidential leadership of this Nation. One reason why many Black people want to connect in this way is because they embrace the fact that this country is as much theirs as any other people group and they believe in the principles that these nation was found on. Yet there are times when connecting with major thought leaders in our Nation around the subject of race and racial equity is difficult. For some Black people perceptions of being disconnected or being ignored or isolated, in some ways like our forefathers are real. At this time in our history some may think that perceptions don’t matter, I would disagree. Perceptions matter. Some would say, look at the progress we have made since the Civil Rights Era and begin to present statistics to support that claim. Some would say that those same statistics are indicators that we still have racial inequity in our Nation. No matter what side of that argument you fall on I think we all could agree that statistics alone are not what drove the March on Washington DC on August 28th 2020. Issues (some were noted earlier), based on data and perceptions are what fueled the dedication of those peaceful protestors. As well as other peaceful protests and boycotts that our Nation has seen and is currently experiencing. Allow me say this, I realize there are agitators and antagonists that are working to undermine our way of life in this Nation. Yet, to categorize all of the peaceful protests and boycotts that we are seeing today as the result of the work of antagonists, that categorization could contribute to lessening our resolve of building bridges and cause us to miss an opportunity in our history to improve on who we are as a Nation.
This is a check in point for the reader. Are you still aware of God being with you and what He has done for you by placing you in this blessed Nation? If you aren’t sure, take a moment to reflect on that fact and then continue to read this note.
In the space of racial equity and justice, building or helping to sustain relational bridges is not a one-sided project. Meaning, this isn’t just a white American or conservative American thought leader’s role to work on. To help illustrate this statement please continue reading about an article I came across recently (excerpt is italicized below). Michelle Obama Speaks Out About Facing Racism As First Lady: 'White People Don't Even See Me' ELLE Magazine August 27, 2020. Former First Lady Michelle Obama said that even from her eight years as First Lady of the United States, she had "a number of stories" of white people treating her as invisible. "When I've been completely incognito during the eight years in the White House, walking the dogs on the canal, people will come up and pet my dogs, but will not look me in the eye. They don't know it's me," she recalled, later adding, "That is so telling of how white America views people who are not like them, like we don't exist. And when we do exist, we exist as a threat. And that's exhausting."
Obama recounted a time that the four women got ice cream at a Haagen-Dazs during Barack Obama's presidency. "We had just finished taking the girls to a soccer game. We were stopping to get ice cream and I had told the Secret Service to stand back, because we were trying to be normal, trying to go in," Obama remembered. "There was a line, and... when I'm just a Black woman, I notice that white people don't even see me. They're not even looking at me." She continued, "So I'm standing there with two little Black girls, another Black female adult, they're in soccer uniforms, and a white woman cuts right in front of us to order. Like, she didn't even see us. The girl behind the counter almost took her order. And I had to stand up 'cause I know Denielle was like, 'Well, I'm not gonna cause a scene with Michelle Obama.' So I stepped up and I said, 'Excuse me? You don't see us four people standing right here? You just jumped in line?”
The Becoming author added: "She didn't apologize, she never looked me in my eye, she didn't know it was me. All she saw was a Black person, or a group of Black people, or maybe she didn't even see that. Because we were that invisible."
That was only a portion of the article in ELLE. Please look it up and read it for yourself. As I reflected on the article a question came to mind.
Question: Who is the former First Lady defining as “white America”?
I’m not going to attempt to answer the question regarding who white America is as defined by former First Lady Obama. I’ll challenge you the reader to do the research. As true as her experiences are and the fact that many people of color can attest to similar experiences (including myself). To paint her experiences with such a broad brush by inferring this is how “white America” is wired or acts is her perception, maybe many others as well, but not all of ours. Also, she says how exhausting these kinds of experiences are as if all people of color in America are burdened with experiencing these routine negative experiences. Again, that is her perception, maybe others as well, but not all of ours. In other words, Black Americans’ experiences are not the same. That’s not news, however it bears saying because sometimes when we apply generalizations like the ones in the ELLE Article we can miss opportunities for relational improvement. When the Former First Lady and others of influence communicate these types of messages, which clearly illustrate some type of injury has occurred, without also presenting some plausible remedies or recommended actions for positive change, those messages can be viewed as giving space to a victimization mentality in the Black community and can also be viewed as possibly being non-unifying.
Let me explain. Clearly many Black people are being and have been injured in many ways (as stated earlier). What I mean by a victimization mentality can be summarized as follows: How do we (Black) people see ourselves in the greater context of the people groups in this Nation? When I (we) look in the mirror or see another Black person do I (we) see a victim? If I believe I am somehow burdened with another person or people group’s biases and/or prejudices at any point in my life then I believe I have become a victim of their inhumane views and actions. That’s what I mean by having a victim mentality. Others may have a different idea of what defines a victim mentality. It’s choice how you see yourself and how you see others and sometimes we need to be reminded of that fact. For me personally, I believe what God says about me and who He says I am. He has made me more than a conqueror through Christ Jesus in all situations including when I’m faced with racism and racial injustice. As a result, I will not mentally carry the prejudicial biases of others.
When I referred to the Former First Lady’s statement as possibly being interpreted as non-unifying. I meant in the sense of not being highly effective in mitigating the negative impact of racial inequity and racial unfairness. Why do I say that? Expressing the perceptions associated with those negative experiences she and her family had in a public forum helps to bring forward in the minds of some Black people the memories of similar experiences that have not been satisfactorily resolved or healed in their minds/hearts. Those unhealed memories have embedded in them pain that will persist unless they are adequately addressed. With no path to possible healing presented in context with the pain, anyone can become distrustful of the “other person or group” and less likely to engage in sincere dialogue and/or work to help resolve or heal those painful memories. I realize that one occurrence or one comment may not be enough to drive a person to become distrustful. However, if painful experiences occur enough times without hope for something better, human nature kicks-in and we look for ways to lessen the pain. And that can lead to expression through the other ways like anger, retaliation, isolation, suppression, depression, etc. Which I believe can become pathogens for dis-unity. So what is the point? The point is when influencers of people name the pain (which is critically important) I’m encouraging them and you to take the opportunity to also present hope because it will help with the healing process.
Closing Comments:
Highlighting these single occurrences of President Trump’s and Former First Lady Michelle Obama’s comments in this grace note were highlighted to help us understand how we can avoid missing opportunities that could enable the building or sustaining of relational bridges within our Nation. As I reflect on who are we becoming as a Nation I know we are better than our collective experiences of prejudices and its impacts. Surely, we can speak words and demonstrate actions that focus on being more inclusive rather than exclusive. My hope is that we don’t major on the lesser things (like ideology) and leave the greater things (like the work of building sustainable relationships) undone.
Helping to heal the hearts of those who have been and are being unfairly treated through individual prejudices or systemic racial practices should be a priority for this Nation. At the same time enabling ways for more diverse minds to come to the table to reach solutions to problems that will enrich all of our lives is what America is uniquely suited to be able to deliver. Building or nurturing relational bridges is a key requirement to enable all of us do the complicated work that many communities face in mitigating or eliminating racial injustices in our Nation. And this work calls for respect and honor and giving space repeatedly for the other persons’ failures and missteps. Let’s remember that God is with us and let’s tap into His grace to build sustainable relational bridges for our generation and for generations to come.
Join me in this prayer for our leaders (Christian and non-Christian) and for all of us, ‘
‘Lord strengthen our hands and hearts to help us always build and sustain relational bridges within our communities and Nation. You have well equipped us for this time in our history. Thank you for our Presidential Leadership past and present and for their dedication to the noble service you have given them to do.’
Amen.
As you reflect on how to express and demonstrate your convictions for your community, I hope you have found this grace note helpful.